The Middle Manager’s Oxygen Mask: 3 Secrets To Thrive In Turbulence

It felt like the plane was going down, and I couldn’t breathe.

I was a parent volunteer at my kids’ school, and I was trying to corral a group of four-year-olds to gather for lunchtime. No one was listening to me. One kid was hiding under a slide, while another was tugging on my shirt, asking me about an episode of Paw Patrol. And the head teacher had just finished scolding me for failing to clean up from snack time. It wasn’t even noon, and I was already exhausted, overwhelmed, and ready to go home.

And this was on a morning off from work.

If you’re a middle manager, this kind of chaos might describe your life.

Middle Managers are the unsung heroes of the modern-day workforce, and I want to tell you right now that you have the single hardest job in the business world today. You’re being squeezed from all angles: leaders from the top are pressing you to hit aggressive numbers and drive productivity, while your team (which seems to grow each year) needs more support, clearer direction, or simply space to do their jobs. You are constantly pulled in opposing directions, and it can feel impossible to keep up.

What I’m going to propose might sound counterintuitive, but I want you to hear it: Before you can fix anything around you, you have to prioritize yourself. If you are running on fumes, overwhelmed, and frustrated, you can’t effectively lead anyone.

This is your call to put on your oxygen mask so you can take a deep and much-needed breath.

I’m going to walk through three powerful, actionable steps you can start taking right now to reset yourself mentally, physically, and skillfully, transforming your experience from one of constant survival to one of intentional, effective leadership.

1. Prioritize Your Performance Fuel: Master the 3-2-1 Rule

Your morning routine is never going to work without support from the night before. Studies show that sleep deprivation impairs your brain in much the same way as being intoxicated. You wouldn't try to lead any meeting drunk, yet many managers walk in running on three or four hours of sleep, pretending coffee is enough to keep them sharp.

But when you lie down to sleep at night, you’re still wired. So what do you do?

The key is to start downregulating your system hours before you actually lie down.

Secret #1: Implement the 3-2-1 Rule

Adopt the simple, powerful routine popularized by performance coach James Laughlin to prepare your body and mind for deep, restorative sleep.

• 3 Hours Before Bed: Stop Working. This is non-negotiable. No emails, no checking the project status, and no calls. The goal is to stop thinking about your work and allow your brain to switch gears.
• 2 Hours Before Bed: No Food or Drinks. This includes water, tea, and late-night snacks. Allowing your digestive system to rest ensures that your body isn't working on processing calories when it should be repairing and recovering.
• 1 Hour Before Bed: No Screen Time. The blue light from phones, tablets, and even TV screens suppresses melatonin production, which is essential for signaling to your body that it’s time to sleep. Swap scrolling for reading a physical book, light stretching, or journaling.

By protecting your evening routine, you are setting yourself up for success the following day, ensuring you have the mental, physical, and emotional energy needed to handle the daily demands of middle management.

2. Master Meetings with a Clear, Defined Outcome

If sleep is your physical foundation, meeting clarity is your professional foundation. If half your week is spent in disorganized, frustrating, or purposeless sessions that create more work, your entire week is shot.

The shift from a bad meeting to a great one often comes down to one simple habit: defining the desired outcome before the discussion begins.

Secret #2: Write the "We Will Have..." Statement

For every single meeting, big or small, you must be able to complete this sentence: “By the end of this meeting, we will have _____.”

• Instead of: “We’re meeting to discuss the new budget.” (Vague, process-oriented)
  
  • Say: “By the end of this meeting, we will have an agreement on the approved budget and next steps for communication.” (Clear, resolution-oriented)
• Instead of: “We’re here to brainstorm Q3 ideas.” (Vague, low accountability)
  
  • Say: “By the end of this meeting, we will have five prioritized ideas that we want to explore further, with owners assigned to each.” (Clear, actionable)

Start your next meeting by writing this statement on the whiteboard or sharing it in the virtual meeting chat. Crucially, check against it at the end. This one habit signals to your team that you value clarity and respect their time, instantly reducing post-meeting exhaustion and frustration.

3. Form a Peer Support Group to Share the Load

The paradox of the middle manager is that you are responsible for everyone, but often feel like you have no one to turn to yourself. You don't have to navigate this pressure cooker alone.

One of the most powerful and impactful actions you can take is to form a small, dedicated peer support group.

Secret #3: Find Your Core Support Group

Find or create a small collective of two to five managers who meet regularly (monthly is often ideal) to swap ideas, share challenges, and find a safe, confidential space to vent.

• How to Start: If you work for a large company, start there. Look for managers who are not directly in your reporting line but face similar organizational pressures. If not, look to your professional network, including friends or trusted contacts on LinkedIn.
• How to Run It: Keep it simple. Maintain a running document of topics or challenges (like “managing scope creep” or “delegating performance reviews”). Rotate who leads the conversation each month, making sure the lead manager sets the topic and sends out a brief prep note.
• The Immediate Impact: By having a group of like-minded individuals you can tap into throughout the month, you gain external perspective, shared wisdom, and a vital emotional release. Trust me, you’ll gain not only professional insights but also a few great new friends.

I have one last bonus secret for you.

4. Create a “Book of Wins”

As a middle manager, every day can feel like a battle. When you are constantly focused on the next fire drill, those small, personal, and professional victories can easily get lost in the chaos. This is why you need a deliberate practice for tracking success.

Bonus Secret #4: Daily Reflection and Recording

Create a simple habit of sitting down at the end of your day for no more than five minutes and writing out three things that count as a "win" in your Book of Wins.

• What Counts as a Win? It doesn't have to be landing a massive deal. It can be:
  
  • Handling a tough conversation with grace and clarity.
  • A direct report successfully taking on a new responsibility.
  • A customer or colleague reaching out with a genuine “thank you.”
  • Successfully running a highly productive, outcome-driven meeting.
  • Simply sticking to the 3-2-1 rule and getting a full night’s sleep.‍
• ‍The Payoff: This practice immediately helps you reflect on positive energy and acknowledge your accomplishments. When those inevitable rough days hit, you can pick up your Book of Wins, read through five minutes of past successes, and quickly reset your perspective. It’s a powerful, tangible reminder that you have, in fact, been accomplishing great things all along.

I Want To Hear From You

That day as a parent volunteer at the school reminded me of the chaos that awaits all managers, but especially middle managers. I know in that moment I needed to take a breath, and I want the same for you. The oxygen mask is right there; you just have to put it on.

I want to be part of your journey. Reach out to me on LinkedIn and tell me which of these secrets had the greatest impact on your time and energy levels.

Best of luck to you, and see you out there.