Thanksgiving Reflection: Thoughts on Gratitude and Leadership

This week is the perfect time to notice the good.

The leaves have transformed into their brilliant, smoky earth tones. Even in places like California, where I live, where seasons are only perceptible to the acutely sensitive, there is a gentle shift afoot. Tonight, the roads and airports will be full of people traveling to see loved ones. Tomorrow those loved ones will gather around tables filled with food. Football will play. Holiday shopping will begin.

I can already hear Mariah Carey singing about her abbreviated Christmas List.

There’s a particular quality to this week. A slowing down that feels almost radical in a world that rewards relentless forward motion.

Of course, I’m thinking of gratitude.

Gratitude didn’t always come naturally to me. As leaders, we are trained to see gaps and solve problems. We look for what needs fixing. We often suffer from a functional "negativity bias"—we see the threat or the lack much faster than we see the asset.

So right now I want to do something a little different. Just a conversation about what I’m learning to pay attention to. Because the most effective leaders know how to pause with intention.

Consider this my pause.

What I’m Grateful For

So what am I grateful for this year?

My family and my wife. My beautiful children. My home.

It’s easy to lose sight of what really matters. Today I won’t.

I’m grateful for every single person I’ve had the chance to work with. I’m grateful to those who took a chance on me, and for those who let me take a chance on them. I’m grateful to every person who makes Learnit such a wonderful and unique place to work. I’m grateful to every guest who agreed to come onto my podcast. And I’m grateful to the tens of thousands of learners who have given us the opportunity to be part of their growth journey.

Why Give Thanks?

I know you’ve seen the headlines and read the books: Gratitude improves wellbeing and performance. But recently, I’ve been digging into the why—the actual mechanics of it. The last five years of research have shifted the conversation from "gratitude as a feeling" to "gratitude as a cognitive resource."

Here’s what I’ve noticed in my own leadership, backed by what we now know about the brain:

Gratitude is a Stress Buffer. When everything feels like it’s breaking, the ability to recall what’s still solid matters. Practicing this doesn’t remove the stressors, but it fundamentally alters how we process them. I’m learning that the leader who can acknowledge a setback and still see the foundation they’re standing on isn't in denial; they are building the resilience required to keep driving.

When I focus on the things that matter most, there’s a gentle softening of the stress that makes it more manageable.

Recognition Unlocks "Discretionary Effort." The best teams I’ve worked with are the ones where people feel seen. Cooperation and trust are the cornerstones of "discretionary effort"—that magic difference between doing the minimum and giving your best. Especially in our hybrid world, the silence of a manager can present as indifference. Acknowledging the "quiet work" bridges that gap.

Just this morning I emailed my gratitude to a remote employee who really made a difference on a recent project, and he told me I made his day.

It Rewires the Motivation Loop. We know by now that success alone doesn’t lead to lasting happiness. If something goes right, that’s only half the story of our biological relationship to reward. We also have to recognize people for their contributions. We have to say it, and mean it. Neuroscience suggests that recognition triggers the brain's reward system, releasing dopamine. This creates a virtuous cycle which creates more motivation.

When I take thirty seconds to say “Thank you. What you did really mattered,” instead of immediately moving to the next task, I’m helping my team build the psychological momentum they need to tackle the next mountain.

It can be easy to forget to do these things.

A Holistic Connection

Here’s what took me too long to understand: you don’t stop being a leader when you leave the office. And you don’t stop being a whole person when you step into a leadership role.

Anyone watching Severance on Apple TV knows that this dichotomy is not sustainable.

When I take time to appreciate the people closest to me, or to savor a small win rather than rushing past it, I’m training my brain to see assets rather than deficits. That skill translates directly to how I assess my business. The leader who’s burned out at home brings that depletion to every meeting.

Personal gratitude is the fuel that allows you to sustain the work without losing yourself in it.

An Invitation

I’m not going to give you a complex exercise, after all, it is a holiday week and everyone, including me, is about to punch out on the clock.

However, I was reflecting on a conversation I had on my podcast earlier this month with Joel Zuckerman. Joel has written thousands of gratitude letters over the years. His practice is to send deliberate, handwritten notes that go beyond a quick "thanks" to specifically articulate why someone matters.

The very thought of doing this makes my hand cramp, but it makes my heart warm.

He said something that has stayed with me: "Silent gratitude is useless. It’s like wrapping a present and never giving it.”

I think about the tree that will soon go up in the living room. How empty would it feel if I kept all the wrapped gifts in the closet?

So, here is my invitation for your week: Have one conversation or write one letter you’ve been putting off.

Tell someone specifically what they did and why it mattered. No script. Just the truth, spoken plainly.

And then expect nothing in return. Though I suspect you may feel something inside you grow a little stronger, a little more resilient.

As The Air Shifts

This week, as the leaves change and we pull our chairs closer to the table, I’m choosing to notice the things that matter.

Family. Children. The roof above my head.

I’m grateful for my life’s work. For the challenges that stretch me and the people who challenge me to be better.

And I’m grateful for you. For being part of a community that believes people and organizations can always grow.

However you spend this week, I hope you find moments that remind you why it all matters.

Happy Thanksgiving.