152: Why Most People's Definition of Success is Completely Wrong | JM Ryerson

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you're thinking about I I it's very ego focused and as aleader it's not about

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you One thing that you'll learn my philosophy in leadershipis it's not about me So first thing I would ask you

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to do is just stop focusing on you and start focusing on theteam What else would you like to leave our listeners

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with i know we talked about a bunch of great stuff but isthere one specific thing what I would hope everybody does

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is success is an extremely misunderstood concept We all wantsuccess but have you

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ever really sat down and asked yourself "What doessuccess actually mean to you?" This lack of awareness can prevent

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you from performing at your best Welcome to the Learn It AllPodcast the show for today's leaders who want to get ahead

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and stay ahead because we believe great leaders aren't bornor made We're always in the making I'm your host Damon Ley

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two-time bestselling author and CEO of Learn It a livelearning platform that has helped upskill over 2 million people

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over the past three decades Today's guest is Jam RyersonHe's a serial entrepreneur performance coach author

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and the founder of Let's Go Win a company dedicated tohelping high performers live their best lives both

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personally and professionally In our conversation today I'mgoing to ask JM to share how to reshape your view on

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both success and failure when you should let go of a goalwithout seeing it as quitting what every first-time leader

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needs to hear about imposter syndrome and how to define andembed powerful core values at work and at home So JM

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even super successful people get stuck carrying around oldbeliefs What is like one old belief you've held on to for too

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long and what was the final wakeup call that got you to kindof flip the script you know it's a good question And the

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biggest one that I've sat on that I had to really lean intowas around money Uh

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I would So I was very blessed I I made seven figures myfirst time at the age

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of 27 And you would think that's something to celebrate andbe like "Awesome What an achievement." Brother I

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looked in the mirror and I felt terrible I had thisself-limiting belief around

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money that that was for other people that somehow that wasan evil And that

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took me probably five years of really digging in to say whydo I believe that

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is it true and then ultimately where did that come from andwhat I here's what I landed on My dad when we would drive by

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the country club he would say "Look at all the prettypeople." For some reason Damon being a pretty person was a bad

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thing but you know the connotation I get it And and so itwas always just these

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little remarks And so I had this thing about I you knowmaking money somehow

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Again I I told you off air I was raised in Montana you knowyou're taught to be humble and not talk about yourself or at

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least that was certainly my upbringing And so when I when Imade this money I was like gosh I looked in the mirror and

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I literally felt terrible And then I finally just decided asI went through and my dad taught me that Well his dad

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taught him that Guess what his dad taught him that So if yougo back this is literally a mindset from the early

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1900s and I'm still adopting it Just think how crazy that isAnd so I finally

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said "This is shenanigans and I'm going to you knowreframe the way I look at

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it." And the truth is money is a great thing becauseyou can support charities and you can build companies and create

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opportunities All of these things happen Why I thought itwas evil at one point I don't know but that's gone And and so

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that was that's the one that I held on to way too long Didyou miss any big opportunities or or miss or make any bad

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decisions because of holding on to that belief yeah Noquestion Uh I think well

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I think most people when you first you when you don't have alot of money and then you all of a sudden do you make

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some poor choices and I'm certainly I certainly did Iremember we had a a cabin up in Truckucky uh California near

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Lake Tahoe Love and it's a great spot No question about itBut it was just one of

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those decisions that wasn't thought through We weren't usingit that often

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Um it literally became this extra cost on like extra stressand we literally do

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all our vacations to this one spot because it was thispurchase that just

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didn't make a lot of sense We had young kids at the time andso yeah man I made all sorts of poor decisions along the

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way And then I started to realize oh it's not even about themoney for me

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It's my biggest value in life is freedom I didn't like beingchained down to this

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one spot And if my wife wasn't willing to VBO it or you knowrent it out then

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it's literally just a drain on our our bank account for noreason And it's just

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additional stuff that I had to do So that's the one thatsticks out to me But I'm Well shoot man My business partner

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and I started a mortgage company in 2008 So there's anothermillion dollars plus

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down the drain like I got some good ones man I've made somemistakes When I started researching you what I loved

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about you is that you're just open I think kind of like melike to talk about cuz look we've all made mistakes and I

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think learning from those mistakes is what helps us grow Andand if we could help other people I call it dummy tax If

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if we can share with them some of our experiences andstories and the mistakes we've made it's only going to help them you knowmoving forward No it's so true

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brother Isn't it interesting how in the moment it sucks likeI don't care what

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hardship you're going through Anybody saying "Oh thisis a great learning lesson." I get it You're like "I don't

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want to hear that right now." But when you look backthose are the ones that really were impactful And those are the

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things that as awful as it is in the moment you really wantto say thank you because yeah I want people to learn from

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my mistakes And you know what my kids are going to make someof the same mistakes I did And that's okay because

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that's just part of living Imagine if it was perfect What aboring way to live life It really wouldn't be that exciting

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Yeah I mean one thing I learned is that everything doesn'thappen the way you anticipated it or wanted it right you

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know I thought I was going to be a major league baseballplayer have four kids and have my best friend my dad around and he passed away14 years ago of

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cancer right so so you things come up in life and and youhave to just deal with them and get back up and and make it

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happen you know so isn't that funny man how we have theseexpectations or we

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think about like I I used to make five-year goals um andliterally I did

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it for so in my professional life the first at five yearsfour times I was

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dead wrong all four times three out of the four I hadexceeded my expectations one

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out of the the the fiveyear I I under uh achieved but it'sfunny how they're just

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kind of you you you put this thing out there which why I'mnot saying don't have goals You should certainly should

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but just kind of play it out man and and be okay with whereyou're at and know

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that you're actually probably going through what you'resupposed to at that moment There's a reason for it So it is

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it is funny man Life just throws us some uh funny curveballs to use baseball You know it's just it's one of those things

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where it's not going to be perfect That's not the way lifeworks And you know what thank goodness for that How boring it truly would be ifeverything

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went exactly as you planned When do you think that it's okayto like pivot and

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give up on a goal you know like say you're holding on tothings too long and you know hearing you talk I've got buddies well not now cuzI'm in my 50s

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but they held on to that dream of playing Major LeagueBaseball for much too long and they missed some good opportunities When is itokay do you

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think to say "Hey you know what it's not really afailure to quit this and move into this different phase of life." Man

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this is a big question and I don't I don't know that I havethe great answer because I don't believe really in

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quitting and I would say when you're at a point that youreally don't enjoy it

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So here's my example My second company it was 6 years ofliterally waking up

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and dreading going to work every single day That was not agood time Yes

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financially it was fantastic but personally my wife and Iwere separated for a year Literally thought we were

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going to get divorced Thank goodness we didn't Um and andliterally 6 years

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because I wasn't aligned with the other business partners inin the company Doesn't make them bad But I guess my

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point is I think it's okay to quit when you no longer feeljoy and fulfillment

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doing what you're doing Now I'm not saying you know what youhad a bad day so you should just throw in the towel

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and quit your job Like don't do that You're going to havebad days But if consistently like your buddies if

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they're waking up and the dream is to be a pro baseballplayer but they're not loving it anymore I think that's time to

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say you know what I'm not enjoying it Now I love the factthat they saw it

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through and they can look back and say I gave it everythingthat I had man I I have lived with no regrets at least

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towards that dream I love that they can say that because Ithink where people make this mistake they'll quit too early

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because oh man it got a little hard and you know what thisis the easier Well easier doesn't necessarily mean better

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So it's a big question brother And and I could literally wecould go back and forth on this one subject for quite a

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while When basketball ended for you was that a big uh hit toyour identity because I know it was for me with baseball Yeah So and ithappened earlier

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than I expected as well Damon I You couldn't convince mebrother I wasn't going to play in the NBA It wasn't even

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after two knee surgeries in high school I'm like "Noman I got this." Look the third knee surgery that's where it

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really set in like "Oh okay." So a I probablywasn't that good anyway I mean

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those guys are phenomenal and I was a good basketball playerbut not to the level they are It just it it in reality

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if you look at it But yeah it was a major hit for me becauseyou know I was

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known as JM the athlete all my life and then all of a suddenI'm just JM the the

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the kid going to school So that was a big moment at about 21years old where

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I'm saying "Oh so now I'm just this normal college kidright?" Which who

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cares but in the moment it was a big deal I rememberthinking that was such a big deal And so I actually ended up

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studying abroad during that time of my life And I had thisalmost year-long process of being able to just be with me

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and my thoughts cruising around Europe on trains eating PBJscuz I had no money

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Uh but I got a chance to really look and say "What do Iwant out of life what is

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important to me and if it's not going to be in athleticswhat is that going to look like?" I didn't necessarily arrive at anyanswers other than you know what

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I found books and I found learning which is why I told youoff air I love the name of your podcast Um I I I really

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fell in love with this idea of growth and development andthat just shaped my

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identity to be something different than what I was as anathlete but yet applying some of the same principles

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What was your first step into the into the business worldafter traveling abroad so when I came back I ended up

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graduating way faster than I expected because if you look atmy college I I

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did three different colleges in four years Somehow graduatedwith two degrees and it's like I didn't expect to

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graduate I thought I was going for at least another year SoI ended up moving from Montana to Northern California and

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I started working for Enterprise Renar and I was there foralmost three and a

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half years And it's a great company You know I what Irealized for me though is

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I didn't like people telling me where I could be and howmuch I could make That just again freedom is my favorite f-word

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in the world I love freedom And I realized you know whatthis isn't necessarily filling my bucket I want to

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find something that provides that And so I went fromenterprise and then I met what ended up being my future business

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partner for the next three companies uh on my next interviewand it just it

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happened to be being an entrepreneur and I found my myrhythm and grew pretty

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pretty quickly So yeah man from enterprise into financialservice world

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and and that's uh that's where it started you know reallytaking off in as an entrepreneur And I love how you know

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switching gears a little bit I heard you talk about you knowyou wrote your book Let's Go Win and how you were inspired

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by your kids uh to write it Yeah man I I had been talkingabout writing this book

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for almost three years and literally we

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were talking about goals earlier I put all my goals in mybathroom mirror It's visible to my whole family And my son at

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the time he walked by and he goes "Dad how's the bookgoing?" And I'll never lie to my kids And I had to shamelessly

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look at him and go I literally have a little bit of chapterone done And he

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absolutely destroyed me and inspired me in the same momentSo uh because the whole idea of the book was I wanted my

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kids to have some of the philosophies I had learned from myparents and grandparents and authors that I had read

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And so within 6 months I finished the book and it changedthe trajectory of my life I mean let's go win is

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really it is my life at this point right it's it's a companyyes but it's also

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the podcast and it's a philosophy and it's something I'm sopassionate about And so yeah man I I wrote it for the

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kids and the only reason the world knows about it is becauseI had somebody thank

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goodness she said "Man you're selfish." I said"What are you talking about?" She said "If you only share thisbook with

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two people you're selfish." And I said "Yep yep Ihear you published a book and

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it's just been a wild ride since I hear you talking aboutyou know it's your philosophy it's your passion So what is

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your philosophy especially around winning it's such a goodquestion brother So I I had to go down and really

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figure this out because again being athletes we grow upwinning losing right

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that was the idea You either won or you lost That is not thephilosophy of let's go win The philosophy of let's go win is

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literally to inspire u yourself inspire to live your bestlife That's literally

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the the the entire philosophy of the company Now thatdoesn't mean I win you lose In

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fact what I had to figure out people kept asking what doeswinning mean what does winning mean and I started looking

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up what winning meant and you're going to see the same wordover and over again when you look up winning

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self-development self-growth self-discipline self-loveself-care And this word self is there And so now it's

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all in my opinion based on self which is strength energylove and freedom That's

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it's an acronym And emotional mental and physical side ofthings And so to me

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what winning means is literally setting yourself up to winevery single day That doesn't mean you're going to succeed

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every day I fail all the time man I But I'm willing to getback up And so for me

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winning is literally inspiring people to live their bestlives setting myself up every single day so I can show up as the

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best version of me and being okay when I when I fall on myface knowing that I gave it my very best and I'm willing to

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get back up And so that's the overall philosophy that Iteach And it's something that it's what I love Damon is

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when people like gosh that literally helped me so much inthis area That fills my bucket so much more than I

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don't know um you know an extra zero in my bank accountIsn't it nice you know to feel like you've actually contributed

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made a difference I got a nice text from a woman who'srunning a um uh she raised a bunch of money and she's running a a

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student loan crush debt and she just said "Hey I justwanted to say thanks for the impact you've you've helped me

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out you know when I started my career at Learn It."That like you said that that just sometimes means so much more than

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even money you know So it's it's awesome You're just sharingI imagine things

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that you learned and and you want somebody else to have it alittle bit easier or have open their eyes to a new

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perspective It's just that's that's the beauty of of ofwriting these books or

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doing these programs is so that other people can win Andthat's what's been fascinating with let's go win is I I

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have created so many partnerships with different companiesbecause I don't it's

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it's not jyerson.com It's not like JM's going to get 100%and you get zero No

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man I want to share in this I want to create and collaboratebecause as as an

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athlete as kids I love being on a team right i was actuallythe best sport I did Damon most people don't know this

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the best sport was I was a swimmer and it wasn't even closebrother I was really really talented in that but it

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was an individual sport and I didn't enjoy it I lovebasketball I love

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baseball football soccer all the sports that are team Andthat's what Let's Go Win It's it's all about collaborating

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That fills my bucket so much more than if it's just you knowJM doing something

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by himself You know a lot of our listeners are are parentsright and and they have kids And what advice do you

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have for them when it comes to playing sports for their kidsgetting them involved because you know these days a

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lot of kids aren't involved They're too busy uh on on alaptop which or I mean an iPad right but I mean what advice do

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you have for parents about getting their kids involved andhow will that help with their future growth so we have a

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rule in our house and some people don't agree with it That'sokay And that is you're going to play a sport If you live

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under a roof you're going to play a sport Now mind you I'mnot telling you

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that you have to be the best in that sport That's not thepoint The point is I want you to be involved in some form

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of athletics So what I would tell parents is sports areincredible They teach us so much They teach us

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resilience They teach us leadership They teach us teamworkThey teach us failure I mean there's so many learning lessons

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I don't know of a negative behind doing sports Now is itmaybe a little more

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difficult and expensive for parents yeah My son plays tennisat Marquette My

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other boy plays very competitive baseball And is it reallystress

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inducing at times man because it it's it's not easy watchingyour kids fail

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and yet it's some of the best lessons that they've learnedSo I would just tell parents you know what g get them

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involved I don't care how good they are Just let them getout there and be involved in an activity If it's not a

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sport that's fine My wife played tennis in college I playbasketball So we are sports people But it's just and enjoy it

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You know that's one thing that I think we used to stress alittle bit with our older one about UTR and all these

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rankings Now we just live in the moment with him and weenjoy it and we get to watch him go compete at his you know

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what he what he's passionate about So I would just tellparents to enjoy it get him involved and and just support him

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because it goes by like that man My 18-year-old I I rememberhe was just a baby and it feels like yesterday I think

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some of the best times of my life was um being out on thefield with my dad and my grandfather and my and my family

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there And uh my advice also as well to parents is let thekids have fun with it

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You know don't jump in and and try to control everything allthe time I I coached a high school team once and I

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was like this is ridiculous having to deal with the parentsYou know let let the kids have fun learn and grow and and make mistakes with itas well Yeah man

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You're at you saw it Unfortunately that's the part of theparents trying to live their glory days or thinking that

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their kid is the greatest end all be all Look maybe they arebut let them have

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their journey It's it's theirs It's not for you to curateand make sure it's

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perfect That that doesn't exist Let them go out there andfail It's some of the best lessons that they're going to have

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And it's it's never easy As parents you want to protect yourkids but I'm telling you they are resilient They're

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tough And it and it teaches them so much that they're goingto have to deal with in life anyway you know And how similar

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do you think it is to running an organization where you youhave

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employees right you know so we're not talking about yourkids here but you have employees setting them up in a in

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an environment that gives them an opportunity to try thingsand and fail and be okay with it It's fascinating how

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many similarities and how how you literally can run anorganization from a

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a little league baseball team to a professional organizationto you know the Fortune 500 company The principles

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are pretty much all the same You want to be clear on why youyou're doing whatever you're doing how you're

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supposed to behave what are the cultural values and what arewe trying to accomplish if you look at a little

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league organization you look at a business or you look at anNFL team they

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literally all have the exact same setup The challenge I haveDamon and it's it's

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this is the part where I want to help so many people is noteverybody learned

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that stuff They they've been on teams because ultimatelythose are all teams and the leadership was really dynamic So

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maybe they they got away with not being clear on on you knowhow they're supposed to act or behave And then you

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being you I've been on some horrible teams because of thatAnd so what I would say is it's almost identical The

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playbook is just the same It's literally you know one is inthe corporate world

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one is in you know playing a sport and it's I just there isthe same playbook

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if if you're willing to just and I call it the one sheetThat's what I teach every company every sports organization

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that I work with We're going to get clear on what that onesheet is And what you'll see is you're going to start to

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rack up more and more wins and successes And the only reasonis because you're focused in the same uh you're you're

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you're rowing the boat in the same direction versus oneperson going this way and that person going that way So

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yeah man It's it's amazing how many you know how much theycross over you know in my research on you again you know

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I've heard you talk a lot about you know the importance ofcore values and and really hiring for people with those with

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those core values and setting clear direction for them Uhcan you share a little bit about your experience with

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that and and how you help I guess business leaders set thatup and and accelerate it yeah so I am passionate

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about this and not only for just companies but like ourfamily we have three core values Courage fun and love

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right okay And so we those are the things that we celebrateThose are the

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things that are core to our DNA as a family Um but what Iexperienced and I'm

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going to just I have to own it because I was the one thatdid it Same company second company We had six core values

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And I'm literally on stage Damon in front of about 1500people or so And I'm ringing the troops up talking about our

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core values And I got to four and I forgot the last two

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And it's funny now but in the moment it was reallyembarrassing because I'm one of the executives that was in the room

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that came up with these six core values But it was one ofthe best lessons I could have had because if I can't

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remember them how can I ask any of the employees to rememberthem and so what I

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learned is it it's just too many And so what I would suggestto anybody out there if you're not clear on your core

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values know that you're not alone 99% of companies aren'tclear on what their core values are And here's the other

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thing If you have more than three the law of diminishingreturns starts to go

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into play And so I teach companies and and corporations andteams let's get to

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our three core values And so let's go win It's happy healthywealthy Those are

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the three core values Now when I first started the companyit was trans

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transcend fun and love But I realized that transcend meant awhole bunch to me

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but it didn't mean a lot to my team and it didn't mean a lotto my the clients that I was working with And so I had to

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really dig deep and say what do our clients really want theywant to be happy That's the one thing I found in

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all of our they want to be healthy and they want to bewealthy And then I was like why are you making this difficult

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these are your core values This is how you want to show upThis is who you are

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And so once we did that everything became so much easierClients started showing up They were the right clients

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because they were attracted to what we stood for So ifyou're not clear on them

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here's what I would ask you to do Get clear on what yourthree core values are and then share it with your team every

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single day What I heard you say is with uh transcend I thinkit was is that yeah maybe it meant something to you but

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maybe your team didn't connect with it or your customers AndI think it's really important that uh your core

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values that your people buy into it you know and thenthey're that it means something to them right because if it

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means something to them then it's more than the bigger thenthere's a bigger picture than just hey coming to work

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getting a paycheck you know because they they're bought intothe core values So true It literally your core values it

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that word core it has to be literally core to your DNA Andso transcend was

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one of those things where I always had to explain whattranscend meant to me And it was just it didn't work And so I

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finally had to say "Wait a minute JM This is literallywhat you're coaching on Your own company's not clear on the

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core values Once we step back you're exactly right manEverybody bought in

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They're like "Oh yeah happy healthy wealthy That's whatI want Cool Now we're in alignment Now the coaching

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makes it that much easier." And it's funny like we'retalking about one of those mistakes I'm so glad I made this

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mistake because now I won't make it again for the nextcompany that I'm working with or the next organization

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Let's be clear on what is important to everyone uhsystemically through your

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organization So across the board what do you think are someof the We already

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talked about core values but what do you think are some ofthe most important leadership qualities that a leadership

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you either a CEO or the leadership team needs to have yeahGosh what a great question

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So you know I've landed on several but here's what I wouldsay I I think being empathetic is one of the most important

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things that a leader can do Um and this would be the onethat I I work on every

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single day because I don't think naturally empathy comeseasy to me cuz

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when I was early in business Damon I would just no matterwhat we're going to win We're going to we're going to we're

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going to hit our goals And I really didn't care what itlooked like No matter how much you know it was you were

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sacrificing at home including like I said almost sacrificingmy own marriage And I realized there's got to be a

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better way So empathy is one Uh the second is to havecourage As a leader

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you need to have the courage to know that you're noteverybody's best friend that you're going to make some tough

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decisions and not everybody's going to agree with that Andthat's by human

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nature People want to be liked but as a leader oftentimesthat's not it's not

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going to always come across that way And you have to learnto be okay with that And then the third thing I would say is is communicationthe ability to

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communicate your vision to communicate what's happening inthe organization to

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really have that radical transparency that you knowsomething that Ray Dalio talks about in his books I think that is

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so important because people can deal with pretty muchanything other than the unknown If you don't communicate that's

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when problems start to happen Even if you're communicatingsomething tough

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people can usually deal with it But if you're notcommunicating anything the unknown then things start to spin out of

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control Jay I'm I'm 100% with you on the transparency Um butI've had people come

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to me and say "Damon don't you think you shared alittle a little too much whether it's around numbers or or

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whatnot you know where do you draw the line when it comes totransparency with your organization?" Yeah I don't really

28:54

uh and I know that makes some people uncomfortable Nowhere's what I would say I don't come in and one of the rules

29:00

we also have is when you do a meeting right i I believe inthe AEIO and this

29:06

will answer your question So I stands for issues I'm okaywith people having

29:13

issues but you need to have a solution behind it So forinstance if I don't know let's just say I woke up today and

29:19

it was a bad day I'm not going to go complain to my companytell you how horrible my day is because what is that

29:26

serving what is that doing now if I have a solution behindit like oh I stubbed

29:32

my toe and my solution was to move the dresser so I don't dothat Whatever the you know it's a bad example but that's

29:39

that's where I draw the line is are you just complaining isthis serving any purpose at all cuz if it's not then

29:46

that's just sharing too much But when it comes to sharingpersonal matters I I do

29:52

I've talked about you know the death of my dad and and whatthat looked like I'm very I'm very open with these things For

29:59

some people that's too much But for me that's allowing youknow letting people

30:05

in And what I learned in my professional life when you'revulnerable that really

30:10

lets people buy in to who you are where you're going and Iwasn't that way for a

30:16

long time So I'm pretty open with everything Unless it'sjust complaining

30:22

There's there's no reason to do that Yeah I I haven't mettoo many great leaders who are victims you know or or

30:29

or blaming others all the time And I believe in chapter onein your book you talk a lot about vulnerability and

30:36

authenticity How do you go about it being vulnerable andauthentic but not

30:41

coming across as weak what's interesting about vulnerabilityis I would have said early in my career that's weakness right

30:48

you put on the face And I was taught boys don't cry which bythe way is absolutely terrible ridiculous advice

30:55

And what I learned is that's really not a you know I'm notsaying go cry every

31:00

single day or you know show but that's a very basic humanemotion And so the

31:06

moment that I let people in that's when people reallystarted to to believe in

31:12

who I was as a leader But when you put up this facade likeeverything's perfect and we're just gonna you know like you

31:20

have to look a certain way act a certain way it's just notrelatable first off and it's not very effective So when I

31:27

finally said you know what I'm willing to share who I amwholly with these

31:33

people because there's good there's bad and there's uglyabout everybody in the world Nobody has a perfect life So why

31:40

do we even pretend for it to be that way and just be okayand owning those warts

31:47

if you will because that's that's a part of who you are Themoment I did that and this literally again happened at the end

31:53

of the second company everything took off Leadership becameeasier numbers

31:58

became easier just it it wasn't such hard work because I wasable to just be

32:04

my authentic self put my energy into that instead of tryingto look or sound

32:10

or be something that I really wasn't We work with a lot ofuh firsttime managers

32:15

new leaders right so they either get promoted from being anindividual contributor to a first-time manager or

32:20

come in out from organization and a lot of them either arestressed or afraid to

32:26

be their authentic self because they don't want to comeacross as not having all the answers What practical advice do

32:32

you give for somebody stepping into a firsttime leadershiprole because guys like you and maybe guys like me like

32:38

where we've had some success it's great Yeah sure We can bevulnerable you know be our authentic self but how do we help

32:43

those leaders those first-time leaders become morevulnerable and authentic yeah it's a great question There's a

32:50

quote that has served me when it comes to this questionPeople don't care how much you know until they know how much

32:56

you care And that has shown up for me time and time againwith leaders if you

33:03

had all the right answers but you genuinely don't care aboutthe person that you're providing them to it doesn't

33:10

matter And so it's also you know nobody knows all theanswers Like like we said

33:16

that's that's impractical So what I would tell these peopleis just to try

33:21

your best to be interested in your people Truly give a careabout them not

33:27

just their numbers and how they perform but actually pourinto them and watch

33:33

how how well that's received and watch how much more they'regoing to uh believe in you as a leader So it it is

33:41

one of those funny things Damon because it is kind of anevolution that most people don't step into leadership and go

33:47

"Here I am I'm just going to be as open and honest as Ican be." Because that's kind of a scary idea But I think the

33:55

more that you can just say you know what I'm going togenuinely care about the people I'm working with I'm going to

34:00

share who I am just like I would in any relationship I'mgoing to build some real relationships that people can

34:07

follow That's when your leadership will take off and it justbecomes so much easier Yeah And especially in in the

34:14

world we live in today a lot of people call it like a apostrust world you know if you can get people to trust you like

34:21

you said if you want people to trust you they got to be ableto trust you first right so uh it things work out so much

34:27

better Now what about somebody who's a new manager who maybehas these limiting

34:33

beliefs like "Hey I know I got promoted but deep downJM they're thinking to themselves do I even belong here i don't

34:38

even know if I'm capable of doing this." How do you howdo you help that individual yeah So the first thing I if

34:44

I was talking to this individual stop thinking aboutyourself Everything that Damon just explained if you look at the

34:50

way it's being framed you're thinking about I I I And as aleader it's not

34:56

about you One thing that you'll learn my philosophy inleadership is it's not about me So if I'm saying all these I

35:03

statements like uh imposttor syndrome I shouldn't be thisleader Well if you

35:08

look at you're saying I first It's very ego focused So thefirst thing I would

35:13

ask you to do is just stop focusing on you and startfocusing on the team And once you do that then you stop being

35:21

inside your head You stop thinking about your ego and youstart focusing on the team It's amazing how it it just all of

35:29

a sudden people start to respond The other thing that Iwould say and this is something that uh it was written about

35:35

years ago in how to win friends and influence people Inorder to be interesting you have to be interested

35:43

And what that means to me as a leader is truly be interestedin the people that

35:48

you're working with Not again their position not just arethey hitting their metrics Who are they as people do they

35:55

have family what are their passions what are they looking toaccomplish if you do that it's amazing how now they look at

36:03

you as someone of leadership that they respect and theytrust And as Damon said that's going to help build that that

36:09

trust immediately And I think one of the key traits uh forgreat leaders is

36:16

curiosity And you know and and you were just talking aboutit right there right so you know be curious ask questions you

36:23

know get to know your employees a little bit right i meanbecause I know you talk a lot about how you've helped companies

36:28

double their revenue but a lot of that maybe could talkabout this a little bit A lot of that that is through being a

36:34

people first organization and taking care of your people Itis interesting because you know I I say often I sell

36:40

people what they want then I give them what they need Andwhen it comes to these organizations we'll start with

36:48

okay the we're going to double their revenue Cool But how wedo that is 100% like you just said we're going to do it

36:55

on focusing on you holistically So for instance if you're aleader and your

37:01

relationships are a mess your health is a disaster Howeffective can you be as a leader long term not not very And so the

37:09

majority of my work actually with a lot of executives isspent on how is your

37:14

relationships at home how is your health are you taking careof your body because if you can't show up with the most

37:22

amount of energy you if you can't show up in a way that youryour mindset's in

37:27

a positive place you're not going to be a very effectiveleader At least long term you won't So it is interesting

37:33

Damon how it's it's always like numbers and people want tolet's crunch these Cool We're going to do that but we're

37:39

going to succeed probably different than you thought becausewe're going to start with what does your daily routine look

37:45

like do you take care of yourself first so you can show upas the best leader And those are most of the the

37:52

conversations and systems that I put into place I knowyou've got a great daily routine Can you share a little bit

37:57

about your morning routine yeah you know it's it is funnybecause I I mine's

38:02

extensive So I'll give you the short version I call I Iactually created something called the perfect morning

38:09

routine and it's 33 total minutes The first 11 minutes isjust breath work And

38:14

that is uh if you're not familiar Wimhof would be probablythe easiest guy to follow Um but there's all sorts of

38:20

different breath work out there now And it's just 11 minutesof concentrated breath work to to really fill the body

38:26

Okay cool Then I do 11 minutes of meditation Some peoplelike guided some people like music some people like you

38:33

know sasio frequencies It doesn't really matter Just 11minutes of you time just

38:39

just kind of letting your mind go and then 11 minutes ofyoga And I do a

38:45

minute and a half for each chakra There's seven totalchakras and that ends up being 11 total minutes And when

38:52

I do that Damon it's amazing Immediately after those 33minutes I can tackle any

38:58

problem I can deal with pretty much anything that's going onBut if I don't get that in man I got to tell you I'm

39:04

not at the my highest level And so that's something that Iteach people to

39:10

take care of your mind your body and your soul every singlemorning And that's how what how I created the the

39:16

perfect morning routine And what advice do you have forpeople who start and stop right because I mean

39:23

it's only going to work if you get consistent with it So howdo you how do you find yourself being more consistent

39:28

with it yeah and this is the trick You're absolutely rightSo people all the time they're like "How did you become a lifecoach?" And I'll I'll go

39:34

"That's a good question." Um if you said lifestylecoach then I'm in because

39:40

that's ultimately what I want to create is lifestyle So howdo you how do you get

39:46

away from starting stopping know that for the first 90 daysit's going to be a

39:51

lot of effort and literally it's something that you're goingto need to be intentional with So like the power of

39:56

habit or is a great book to read or uh atomic habits seemsto be most people's

40:02

favorite uh habit read But what they'll tell you is start totake on the identity Set yourself up for success the

40:10

night before And ultimately for me write down whatever thatgoal is and put it in

40:15

your bathroom mirror so you see it every single day at leasttwice a day when you're brushing your teeth When you do

40:21

that you're far more likely not to stop than if you justsaid "I want to lose 20

40:28

pounds." Okay the likelihood of you losing 20 pounds isnot very good unless you write that down and you look at it

40:35

every single day Um because life's going to happen rightyou're going to have your your girlfriend to break up with

40:42

you and and you're going to have the the child that getssick and something in the world is going to happen Adversity

40:47

is going to strike and that's when we fall back into our oldhabits And so being intentional about it writing it

40:54

down and looking at it that's going to help you every day togo "Oh yeah I'm working out every single day." And after

41:02

90 days the reason I say 90 days is because then it justbecomes part of your routine now It's just habitual Like

41:08

that morning routine I don't even have to think about itbecause it's just part of what I do But in the first 90 days I

41:15

had to be extremely intentional I had to look at what eachyoga pose was Well now I can do it without even thinking about

41:21

it because it's just part of who I am One of the things yousaid in there was setting yourself up for success And

41:27

where do you think about luck you know as we kind of wrap uphere you know do you think people are lucky or do you

41:32

think people high achievers create their own luck yes greatquestion I I'm so

41:37

glad you asked this They've done so many different studiesUh they've done it on newspapers They But my favorite one that

41:44

I remember is they were in London and they put a 20 lb noteor 20 pound $20

41:50

bill for Americans on the sidewalk And before people walkeddown the sidewalk

41:55

they asked "Do you feel you're lucky?" Now of thisparticular study 10 people

42:01

said six of them said they were lucky All six found the thethe the note the

42:07

the dollar bill The four people that said they weren't luckyall of them walked right past it And so I don't

42:14

believe I I don't believe that people are genuinely lucky Ithink that they

42:20

create that own luck by being grateful by recognizing theamazing opportunities

42:26

that are out there If you are focused on negativity you'regoing to continue to

42:31

find negativity negativity If you're focused on positivitythen you're going to you're going to really bring that

42:37

positive positivity to you So it is one of those thingswhere are people lucky

42:43

yeah But they ultimately created it They are aware They'relooking for those

42:49

opportunities versus somebody that's like nothing good evercomes to me Oh there's another problem Well guess what

42:56

you're actually It's a self-fulfilling prophecy So such agood question Damon I absolutely love that Yeah I I I've

43:02

through the years you know I've run sales teams for I don'tknow a very long time And you see the underperformers a

43:09

lot of times saying "Oh that person got lucky That leadcame in or that person called back." No You know what they did

43:14

they showed up They put in the effort They they you knowstruck out They got back up and uh they created their own

43:21

luck And I can't think about it exactly but I love DaveThomas from Wendy's had a great quote about there's no such

43:27

thing as luck You create your own luck So true It it is justfascinating

43:32

because important too It's so important and I get it Whenyou're down things

43:37

it's hard to focus on it but what you focus on expands Soit's it's literally one of the best questions I I love that

43:44

So you and I as we wrap up here you and I you know you loveyour your family your wife your kids and and I love my

43:51

wife my kids And what do you want your legacy to be let'ssay for your kids uh

43:58

in in regard to let's just say how you were looked at as a aa father and a

44:04

leader I want my kids to to look back and and to say thatdad gave it

44:10

everything to these kids that he not and I don't meanmaterialistically I mean time He was present He he told them how

44:17

much I love them and that when I was with them I wasgenuinely with them That

44:23

wasn't always the case by the way When they were younger Icertainly was doing the emails on my phone I was around them

44:29

all the time but I wasn't really there And I would say forthe last at least 15

44:35

years I think I stopped when TJ was about three And I saidenough this time's going by so fast I want to make

44:43

sure that they know when I'm with them I'm fully with themand that they feel

44:48

that I I loved them no matter what was going on To me thatis legacy And and

44:53

I'm very proud of my boys man I I it's Yeah they they arekind of my everything

44:58

My wife and I are very blessed with these amazing humanbeings that that we are part of creating And uh just for

45:05

them to look back and say "Mom and dad loved us andthey were completely present." That would be that would be

45:11

the the legacy I'd like to leave That's wonderful Uh whatelse would you like to leave our listeners with i know we

45:18

talked about a bunch of great stuff but is there onespecific thing you know I

45:23

we touched on it What I w hope everybody does is start totake care of yourself

45:29

And the ladies if you're listening especially I every notevery 99% of the

45:36

female clients I work with when I ask this question what didyou do for you they always answer the the house the kid

45:42

the dog the email the car I mean it's such a litany ofthings before them

45:49

Start to take care of you first so that you can be the bestmom you can be the best dad you can be the best person that

45:56

you want to be you need to take care of yourself So thatwould be the last thing

46:01

brother that I hope people give themselves the opportunitygives themselves the grace to say you know

46:07

what I matter I'm going to take care of myself every singleday and I'm

46:14

absolutely worthy of that because now it's going to help youflourish in your career in your relationships and your

46:19

health and you are so deserving of it Thanks Jan It's beenawesome We had a we

46:25

talked about how to overcome uh limiting beliefs Uh whatwinning looks like you

46:32

know overcoming failure getting back up and taking care ofyour people the

46:37

importance of core values and and getting everybody on thesame page for the same mission and uh self leadership

46:44

and you know taking care of yourself So thank you so much myfriend Where can our listeners connect with you at yeah

46:50

brother thank you for having me You're an awesome host Heyyou ask great questions Um yeah let's go.com would be

46:57

the best place to find me I would also say go check out theLet's Go Win podcast Damon's going to be on and it

47:03

just an incredible guest So absolutely connect I loveconnecting

47:09

with people I love doing any bit my part to inspire peoplelive their best life

47:15

So let's go.com I'd love to connect with you All right Wellthank you And for our listeners out there do me a favor If you

47:22

know somebody who struggles from limiting beliefs or needsto maybe change up their daily routine please

47:28

send them this episode I mean jam so inspiring And so let'scheck it out And

47:34

until next time everybody stay curious keep learning have agreat day It's just not possible to get the best out of your

47:41

people if you're not being customized to them and havingthose deliberate conversations And and this is where I'm

47:47

very big on

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