152: Why Most People's Definition of Success is Completely Wrong | JM Ryerson

Release Date: 

May 14, 2025

Release Date: Apr 10

Success is an extremely misunderstood word. If you lack the self-awareness of why you do what you do, it won’t matter how much money you are making on paper. This lack of awareness can prevent you from performing at your best, but that’s what we’re here to solve today.

Today’s guest is JM Ryerson. He’s a serial entrepreneur, performance coach, author and the founder of Let’s Go Win, a company dedicated to helping high performers live their best lives both personally and professionally.

What You’ll Learn:

  • How to reshape your view on success and failure
  • When to let go of a goal without seeing it as quitting
  • What every first-time leader needs to hear about imposter syndrome
  • How to define and embed powerful core values at work and at home
  • And so much more

In This Episode:

  • 00:26 – JM’s limiting belief around money and how he rewrote it
  • 03:16 – Costly mistakes and the power of self-awareness
  • 05:05 – Learning from failures and helping others avoid “dummy tax”
  • 06:06 – Letting go of expectations and five-year plans
  • 07:34 – When it’s okay to pivot or quit a goal
  • 09:16 – Losing sports identity and discovering personal growth
  • 11:18 – JM’s journey from Enterprise to entrepreneurship
  • 12:58 – Writing Let’s Go Win inspired by his kids
  • 14:25 – The true philosophy behind “winning”
  • 16:32 – Sports, parenting, and teaching kids resilience
  • 20:51 – Parallels between parenting and leading teams
  • 22:56 – Defining and living your company’s core values
  • 27:18 – The three essential leadership traits JM lives by
  • 29:15 – Radical transparency and where JM draws the line
  • 31:09 – Vulnerability vs. weakness in leadership
  • 33:26 – Advice for first-time leaders on being authentic
  • 35:20 – Overcoming imposter syndrome by shifting focus
  • 37:16 – Why putting people first drives business growth
  • 38:45 – JM’s “Perfect Morning Routine” (33 minutes to change your day)
  • 40:17 – How to build consistency with daily habits
  • 42:13 – Creating your own luck through mindset and awareness
  • 44:37 – JM’s legacy: presence, love, and showing up for his family
  • 46:17 – Final advice: “Take care of YOU first”

Resources Referenced:

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  • For more episodes on personal growth and success stories, subscribe to “The Learn-It-All Podcast.”
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  • Visit learnit.com for additional resources and learning opportunities.

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0:00

you're thinking about I I it's very ego focused and as aleader it's not about

0:06

you One thing that you'll learn my philosophy in leadershipis it's not about me So first thing I would ask you

0:12

to do is just stop focusing on you and start focusing on theteam What else would you like to leave our listeners

0:18

with i know we talked about a bunch of great stuff but isthere one specific thing what I would hope everybody does

0:25

is success is an extremely misunderstood concept We all wantsuccess but have you

0:31

ever really sat down and asked yourself "What doessuccess actually mean to you?" This lack of awareness can prevent

0:37

you from performing at your best Welcome to the Learn It AllPodcast the show for today's leaders who want to get ahead

0:43

and stay ahead because we believe great leaders aren't bornor made We're always in the making I'm your host Damon Ley

0:50

two-time bestselling author and CEO of Learn It a livelearning platform that has helped upskill over 2 million people

0:56

over the past three decades Today's guest is Jam RyersonHe's a serial entrepreneur performance coach author

1:02

and the founder of Let's Go Win a company dedicated tohelping high performers live their best lives both

1:08

personally and professionally In our conversation today I'mgoing to ask JM to share how to reshape your view on

1:13

both success and failure when you should let go of a goalwithout seeing it as quitting what every first-time leader

1:19

needs to hear about imposter syndrome and how to define andembed powerful core values at work and at home So JM

1:26

even super successful people get stuck carrying around oldbeliefs What is like one old belief you've held on to for too

1:33

long and what was the final wakeup call that got you to kindof flip the script you know it's a good question And the

1:39

biggest one that I've sat on that I had to really lean intowas around money Uh

1:45

I would So I was very blessed I I made seven figures myfirst time at the age

1:52

of 27 And you would think that's something to celebrate andbe like "Awesome What an achievement." Brother I

2:00

looked in the mirror and I felt terrible I had thisself-limiting belief around

2:05

money that that was for other people that somehow that wasan evil And that

2:11

took me probably five years of really digging in to say whydo I believe that

2:18

is it true and then ultimately where did that come from andwhat I here's what I landed on My dad when we would drive by

2:26

the country club he would say "Look at all the prettypeople." For some reason Damon being a pretty person was a bad

2:32

thing but you know the connotation I get it And and so itwas always just these

2:37

little remarks And so I had this thing about I you knowmaking money somehow

2:44

Again I I told you off air I was raised in Montana you knowyou're taught to be humble and not talk about yourself or at

2:50

least that was certainly my upbringing And so when I when Imade this money I was like gosh I looked in the mirror and

2:57

I literally felt terrible And then I finally just decided asI went through and my dad taught me that Well his dad

3:04

taught him that Guess what his dad taught him that So if yougo back this is literally a mindset from the early

3:11

1900s and I'm still adopting it Just think how crazy that isAnd so I finally

3:18

said "This is shenanigans and I'm going to you knowreframe the way I look at

3:24

it." And the truth is money is a great thing becauseyou can support charities and you can build companies and create

3:31

opportunities All of these things happen Why I thought itwas evil at one point I don't know but that's gone And and so

3:37

that was that's the one that I held on to way too long Didyou miss any big opportunities or or miss or make any bad

3:44

decisions because of holding on to that belief yeah Noquestion Uh I think well

3:49

I think most people when you first you when you don't have alot of money and then you all of a sudden do you make

3:55

some poor choices and I'm certainly I certainly did Iremember we had a a cabin up in Truckucky uh California near

4:03

Lake Tahoe Love and it's a great spot No question about itBut it was just one of

4:09

those decisions that wasn't thought through We weren't usingit that often

4:14

Um it literally became this extra cost on like extra stressand we literally do

4:22

all our vacations to this one spot because it was thispurchase that just

4:27

didn't make a lot of sense We had young kids at the time andso yeah man I made all sorts of poor decisions along the

4:34

way And then I started to realize oh it's not even about themoney for me

4:39

It's my biggest value in life is freedom I didn't like beingchained down to this

4:45

one spot And if my wife wasn't willing to VBO it or you knowrent it out then

4:52

it's literally just a drain on our our bank account for noreason And it's just

4:57

additional stuff that I had to do So that's the one thatsticks out to me But I'm Well shoot man My business partner

5:04

and I started a mortgage company in 2008 So there's anothermillion dollars plus

5:10

down the drain like I got some good ones man I've made somemistakes When I started researching you what I loved

5:16

about you is that you're just open I think kind of like melike to talk about cuz look we've all made mistakes and I

5:22

think learning from those mistakes is what helps us grow Andand if we could help other people I call it dummy tax If

5:27

if we can share with them some of our experiences andstories and the mistakes we've made it's only going to help them you knowmoving forward No it's so true

5:34

brother Isn't it interesting how in the moment it sucks likeI don't care what

5:39

hardship you're going through Anybody saying "Oh thisis a great learning lesson." I get it You're like "I don't

5:44

want to hear that right now." But when you look backthose are the ones that really were impactful And those are the

5:52

things that as awful as it is in the moment you really wantto say thank you because yeah I want people to learn from

5:59

my mistakes And you know what my kids are going to make someof the same mistakes I did And that's okay because

6:05

that's just part of living Imagine if it was perfect What aboring way to live life It really wouldn't be that exciting

6:11

Yeah I mean one thing I learned is that everything doesn'thappen the way you anticipated it or wanted it right you

6:17

know I thought I was going to be a major league baseballplayer have four kids and have my best friend my dad around and he passed away14 years ago of

6:24

cancer right so so you things come up in life and and youhave to just deal with them and get back up and and make it

6:31

happen you know so isn't that funny man how we have theseexpectations or we

6:36

think about like I I used to make five-year goals um andliterally I did

6:42

it for so in my professional life the first at five yearsfour times I was

6:48

dead wrong all four times three out of the four I hadexceeded my expectations one

6:56

out of the the the fiveyear I I under uh achieved but it'sfunny how they're just

7:02

kind of you you you put this thing out there which why I'mnot saying don't have goals You should certainly should

7:09

but just kind of play it out man and and be okay with whereyou're at and know

7:14

that you're actually probably going through what you'resupposed to at that moment There's a reason for it So it is

7:20

it is funny man Life just throws us some uh funny curveballs to use baseball You know it's just it's one of those things

7:27

where it's not going to be perfect That's not the way lifeworks And you know what thank goodness for that How boring it truly would be ifeverything

7:34

went exactly as you planned When do you think that it's okayto like pivot and

7:39

give up on a goal you know like say you're holding on tothings too long and you know hearing you talk I've got buddies well not now cuzI'm in my 50s

7:46

but they held on to that dream of playing Major LeagueBaseball for much too long and they missed some good opportunities When is itokay do you

7:52

think to say "Hey you know what it's not really afailure to quit this and move into this different phase of life." Man

7:58

this is a big question and I don't I don't know that I havethe great answer because I don't believe really in

8:05

quitting and I would say when you're at a point that youreally don't enjoy it

8:11

So here's my example My second company it was 6 years ofliterally waking up

8:17

and dreading going to work every single day That was not agood time Yes

8:23

financially it was fantastic but personally my wife and Iwere separated for a year Literally thought we were

8:30

going to get divorced Thank goodness we didn't Um and andliterally 6 years

8:36

because I wasn't aligned with the other business partners inin the company Doesn't make them bad But I guess my

8:42

point is I think it's okay to quit when you no longer feeljoy and fulfillment

8:47

doing what you're doing Now I'm not saying you know what youhad a bad day so you should just throw in the towel

8:53

and quit your job Like don't do that You're going to havebad days But if consistently like your buddies if

8:59

they're waking up and the dream is to be a pro baseballplayer but they're not loving it anymore I think that's time to

9:05

say you know what I'm not enjoying it Now I love the factthat they saw it

9:11

through and they can look back and say I gave it everythingthat I had man I I have lived with no regrets at least

9:18

towards that dream I love that they can say that because Ithink where people make this mistake they'll quit too early

9:26

because oh man it got a little hard and you know what thisis the easier Well easier doesn't necessarily mean better

9:33

So it's a big question brother And and I could literally wecould go back and forth on this one subject for quite a

9:39

while When basketball ended for you was that a big uh hit toyour identity because I know it was for me with baseball Yeah So and ithappened earlier

9:47

than I expected as well Damon I You couldn't convince mebrother I wasn't going to play in the NBA It wasn't even

9:53

after two knee surgeries in high school I'm like "Noman I got this." Look the third knee surgery that's where it

9:59

really set in like "Oh okay." So a I probablywasn't that good anyway I mean

10:04

those guys are phenomenal and I was a good basketball playerbut not to the level they are It just it it in reality

10:10

if you look at it But yeah it was a major hit for me becauseyou know I was

10:15

known as JM the athlete all my life and then all of a suddenI'm just JM the the

10:21

the kid going to school So that was a big moment at about 21years old where

10:27

I'm saying "Oh so now I'm just this normal college kidright?" Which who

10:34

cares but in the moment it was a big deal I rememberthinking that was such a big deal And so I actually ended up

10:41

studying abroad during that time of my life And I had thisalmost year-long process of being able to just be with me

10:48

and my thoughts cruising around Europe on trains eating PBJscuz I had no money

10:54

Uh but I got a chance to really look and say "What do Iwant out of life what is

11:00

important to me and if it's not going to be in athleticswhat is that going to look like?" I didn't necessarily arrive at anyanswers other than you know what

11:07

I found books and I found learning which is why I told youoff air I love the name of your podcast Um I I I really

11:15

fell in love with this idea of growth and development andthat just shaped my

11:21

identity to be something different than what I was as anathlete but yet applying some of the same principles

11:27

What was your first step into the into the business worldafter traveling abroad so when I came back I ended up

11:35

graduating way faster than I expected because if you look atmy college I I

11:40

did three different colleges in four years Somehow graduatedwith two degrees and it's like I didn't expect to

11:47

graduate I thought I was going for at least another year SoI ended up moving from Montana to Northern California and

11:53

I started working for Enterprise Renar and I was there foralmost three and a

11:58

half years And it's a great company You know I what Irealized for me though is

12:04

I didn't like people telling me where I could be and howmuch I could make That just again freedom is my favorite f-word

12:12

in the world I love freedom And I realized you know whatthis isn't necessarily filling my bucket I want to

12:19

find something that provides that And so I went fromenterprise and then I met what ended up being my future business

12:26

partner for the next three companies uh on my next interviewand it just it

12:33

happened to be being an entrepreneur and I found my myrhythm and grew pretty

12:39

pretty quickly So yeah man from enterprise into financialservice world

12:45

and and that's uh that's where it started you know reallytaking off in as an entrepreneur And I love how you know

12:52

switching gears a little bit I heard you talk about you knowyou wrote your book Let's Go Win and how you were inspired

12:58

by your kids uh to write it Yeah man I I had been talkingabout writing this book

13:03

for almost three years and literally we

13:08

were talking about goals earlier I put all my goals in mybathroom mirror It's visible to my whole family And my son at

13:14

the time he walked by and he goes "Dad how's the bookgoing?" And I'll never lie to my kids And I had to shamelessly

13:21

look at him and go I literally have a little bit of chapterone done And he

13:27

absolutely destroyed me and inspired me in the same momentSo uh because the whole idea of the book was I wanted my

13:33

kids to have some of the philosophies I had learned from myparents and grandparents and authors that I had read

13:39

And so within 6 months I finished the book and it changedthe trajectory of my life I mean let's go win is

13:47

really it is my life at this point right it's it's a companyyes but it's also

13:52

the podcast and it's a philosophy and it's something I'm sopassionate about And so yeah man I I wrote it for the

13:58

kids and the only reason the world knows about it is becauseI had somebody thank

14:03

goodness she said "Man you're selfish." I said"What are you talking about?" She said "If you only share thisbook with

14:08

two people you're selfish." And I said "Yep yep Ihear you published a book and

14:14

it's just been a wild ride since I hear you talking aboutyou know it's your philosophy it's your passion So what is

14:20

your philosophy especially around winning it's such a goodquestion brother So I I had to go down and really

14:26

figure this out because again being athletes we grow upwinning losing right

14:31

that was the idea You either won or you lost That is not thephilosophy of let's go win The philosophy of let's go win is

14:38

literally to inspire u yourself inspire to live your bestlife That's literally

14:44

the the the entire philosophy of the company Now thatdoesn't mean I win you lose In

14:50

fact what I had to figure out people kept asking what doeswinning mean what does winning mean and I started looking

14:56

up what winning meant and you're going to see the same wordover and over again when you look up winning

15:02

self-development self-growth self-discipline self-loveself-care And this word self is there And so now it's

15:11

all in my opinion based on self which is strength energylove and freedom That's

15:17

it's an acronym And emotional mental and physical side ofthings And so to me

15:23

what winning means is literally setting yourself up to winevery single day That doesn't mean you're going to succeed

15:30

every day I fail all the time man I But I'm willing to getback up And so for me

15:35

winning is literally inspiring people to live their bestlives setting myself up every single day so I can show up as the

15:42

best version of me and being okay when I when I fall on myface knowing that I gave it my very best and I'm willing to

15:49

get back up And so that's the overall philosophy that Iteach And it's something that it's what I love Damon is

15:56

when people like gosh that literally helped me so much inthis area That fills my bucket so much more than I

16:04

don't know um you know an extra zero in my bank accountIsn't it nice you know to feel like you've actually contributed

16:10

made a difference I got a nice text from a woman who'srunning a um uh she raised a bunch of money and she's running a a

16:16

student loan crush debt and she just said "Hey I justwanted to say thanks for the impact you've you've helped me

16:22

out you know when I started my career at Learn It."That like you said that that just sometimes means so much more than

16:27

even money you know So it's it's awesome You're just sharingI imagine things

16:32

that you learned and and you want somebody else to have it alittle bit easier or have open their eyes to a new

16:38

perspective It's just that's that's the beauty of of ofwriting these books or

16:43

doing these programs is so that other people can win Andthat's what's been fascinating with let's go win is I I

16:50

have created so many partnerships with different companiesbecause I don't it's

16:55

it's not jyerson.com It's not like JM's going to get 100%and you get zero No

17:00

man I want to share in this I want to create and collaboratebecause as as an

17:06

athlete as kids I love being on a team right i was actuallythe best sport I did Damon most people don't know this

17:12

the best sport was I was a swimmer and it wasn't even closebrother I was really really talented in that but it

17:19

was an individual sport and I didn't enjoy it I lovebasketball I love

17:24

baseball football soccer all the sports that are team Andthat's what Let's Go Win It's it's all about collaborating

17:31

That fills my bucket so much more than if it's just you knowJM doing something

17:36

by himself You know a lot of our listeners are are parentsright and and they have kids And what advice do you

17:42

have for them when it comes to playing sports for their kidsgetting them involved because you know these days a

17:48

lot of kids aren't involved They're too busy uh on on alaptop which or I mean an iPad right but I mean what advice do

17:54

you have for parents about getting their kids involved andhow will that help with their future growth so we have a

18:00

rule in our house and some people don't agree with it That'sokay And that is you're going to play a sport If you live

18:05

under a roof you're going to play a sport Now mind you I'mnot telling you

18:11

that you have to be the best in that sport That's not thepoint The point is I want you to be involved in some form

18:18

of athletics So what I would tell parents is sports areincredible They teach us so much They teach us

18:24

resilience They teach us leadership They teach us teamworkThey teach us failure I mean there's so many learning lessons

18:30

I don't know of a negative behind doing sports Now is itmaybe a little more

18:36

difficult and expensive for parents yeah My son plays tennisat Marquette My

18:41

other boy plays very competitive baseball And is it reallystress

18:46

inducing at times man because it it's it's not easy watchingyour kids fail

18:53

and yet it's some of the best lessons that they've learnedSo I would just tell parents you know what g get them

18:59

involved I don't care how good they are Just let them getout there and be involved in an activity If it's not a

19:06

sport that's fine My wife played tennis in college I playbasketball So we are sports people But it's just and enjoy it

19:13

You know that's one thing that I think we used to stress alittle bit with our older one about UTR and all these

19:19

rankings Now we just live in the moment with him and weenjoy it and we get to watch him go compete at his you know

19:27

what he what he's passionate about So I would just tellparents to enjoy it get him involved and and just support him

19:33

because it goes by like that man My 18-year-old I I rememberhe was just a baby and it feels like yesterday I think

19:41

some of the best times of my life was um being out on thefield with my dad and my grandfather and my and my family

19:46

there And uh my advice also as well to parents is let thekids have fun with it

19:51

You know don't jump in and and try to control everything allthe time I I coached a high school team once and I

19:57

was like this is ridiculous having to deal with the parentsYou know let let the kids have fun learn and grow and and make mistakes with itas well Yeah man

20:04

You're at you saw it Unfortunately that's the part of theparents trying to live their glory days or thinking that

20:10

their kid is the greatest end all be all Look maybe they arebut let them have

20:16

their journey It's it's theirs It's not for you to curateand make sure it's

20:22

perfect That that doesn't exist Let them go out there andfail It's some of the best lessons that they're going to have

20:28

And it's it's never easy As parents you want to protect yourkids but I'm telling you they are resilient They're

20:34

tough And it and it teaches them so much that they're goingto have to deal with in life anyway you know And how similar

20:40

do you think it is to running an organization where you youhave

20:45

employees right you know so we're not talking about yourkids here but you have employees setting them up in a in

20:51

an environment that gives them an opportunity to try thingsand and fail and be okay with it It's fascinating how

20:58

many similarities and how how you literally can run anorganization from a

21:04

a little league baseball team to a professional organizationto you know the Fortune 500 company The principles

21:11

are pretty much all the same You want to be clear on why youyou're doing whatever you're doing how you're

21:18

supposed to behave what are the cultural values and what arewe trying to accomplish if you look at a little

21:24

league organization you look at a business or you look at anNFL team they

21:29

literally all have the exact same setup The challenge I haveDamon and it's it's

21:35

this is the part where I want to help so many people is noteverybody learned

21:41

that stuff They they've been on teams because ultimatelythose are all teams and the leadership was really dynamic So

21:49

maybe they they got away with not being clear on on you knowhow they're supposed to act or behave And then you

21:56

being you I've been on some horrible teams because of thatAnd so what I would say is it's almost identical The

22:02

playbook is just the same It's literally you know one is inthe corporate world

22:08

one is in you know playing a sport and it's I just there isthe same playbook

22:15

if if you're willing to just and I call it the one sheetThat's what I teach every company every sports organization

22:20

that I work with We're going to get clear on what that onesheet is And what you'll see is you're going to start to

22:25

rack up more and more wins and successes And the only reasonis because you're focused in the same uh you're you're

22:32

you're rowing the boat in the same direction versus oneperson going this way and that person going that way So

22:38

yeah man It's it's amazing how many you know how much theycross over you know in my research on you again you know

22:44

I've heard you talk a lot about you know the importance ofcore values and and really hiring for people with those with

22:51

those core values and setting clear direction for them Uhcan you share a little bit about your experience with

22:57

that and and how you help I guess business leaders set thatup and and accelerate it yeah so I am passionate

23:04

about this and not only for just companies but like ourfamily we have three core values Courage fun and love

23:11

right okay And so we those are the things that we celebrateThose are the

23:16

things that are core to our DNA as a family Um but what Iexperienced and I'm

23:22

going to just I have to own it because I was the one thatdid it Same company second company We had six core values

23:30

And I'm literally on stage Damon in front of about 1500people or so And I'm ringing the troops up talking about our

23:36

core values And I got to four and I forgot the last two

23:42

And it's funny now but in the moment it was reallyembarrassing because I'm one of the executives that was in the room

23:48

that came up with these six core values But it was one ofthe best lessons I could have had because if I can't

23:53

remember them how can I ask any of the employees to rememberthem and so what I

23:59

learned is it it's just too many And so what I would suggestto anybody out there if you're not clear on your core

24:05

values know that you're not alone 99% of companies aren'tclear on what their core values are And here's the other

24:11

thing If you have more than three the law of diminishingreturns starts to go

24:16

into play And so I teach companies and and corporations andteams let's get to

24:22

our three core values And so let's go win It's happy healthywealthy Those are

24:28

the three core values Now when I first started the companyit was trans

24:33

transcend fun and love But I realized that transcend meant awhole bunch to me

24:39

but it didn't mean a lot to my team and it didn't mean a lotto my the clients that I was working with And so I had to

24:46

really dig deep and say what do our clients really want theywant to be happy That's the one thing I found in

24:53

all of our they want to be healthy and they want to bewealthy And then I was like why are you making this difficult

24:59

these are your core values This is how you want to show upThis is who you are

25:04

And so once we did that everything became so much easierClients started showing up They were the right clients

25:10

because they were attracted to what we stood for So ifyou're not clear on them

25:16

here's what I would ask you to do Get clear on what yourthree core values are and then share it with your team every

25:22

single day What I heard you say is with uh transcend I thinkit was is that yeah maybe it meant something to you but

25:28

maybe your team didn't connect with it or your customers AndI think it's really important that uh your core

25:35

values that your people buy into it you know and thenthey're that it means something to them right because if it

25:41

means something to them then it's more than the bigger thenthere's a bigger picture than just hey coming to work

25:46

getting a paycheck you know because they they're bought intothe core values So true It literally your core values it

25:53

that word core it has to be literally core to your DNA Andso transcend was

25:59

one of those things where I always had to explain whattranscend meant to me And it was just it didn't work And so I

26:06

finally had to say "Wait a minute JM This is literallywhat you're coaching on Your own company's not clear on the

26:11

core values Once we step back you're exactly right manEverybody bought in

26:17

They're like "Oh yeah happy healthy wealthy That's whatI want Cool Now we're in alignment Now the coaching

26:23

makes it that much easier." And it's funny like we'retalking about one of those mistakes I'm so glad I made this

26:29

mistake because now I won't make it again for the nextcompany that I'm working with or the next organization

26:35

Let's be clear on what is important to everyone uhsystemically through your

26:41

organization So across the board what do you think are someof the We already

26:47

talked about core values but what do you think are some ofthe most important leadership qualities that a leadership

26:52

you either a CEO or the leadership team needs to have yeahGosh what a great question

26:58

So you know I've landed on several but here's what I wouldsay I I think being empathetic is one of the most important

27:05

things that a leader can do Um and this would be the onethat I I work on every

27:11

single day because I don't think naturally empathy comeseasy to me cuz

27:17

when I was early in business Damon I would just no matterwhat we're going to win We're going to we're going to we're

27:22

going to hit our goals And I really didn't care what itlooked like No matter how much you know it was you were

27:28

sacrificing at home including like I said almost sacrificingmy own marriage And I realized there's got to be a

27:34

better way So empathy is one Uh the second is to havecourage As a leader

27:40

you need to have the courage to know that you're noteverybody's best friend that you're going to make some tough

27:46

decisions and not everybody's going to agree with that Andthat's by human

27:52

nature People want to be liked but as a leader oftentimesthat's not it's not

27:57

going to always come across that way And you have to learnto be okay with that And then the third thing I would say is is communicationthe ability to

28:05

communicate your vision to communicate what's happening inthe organization to

28:10

really have that radical transparency that you knowsomething that Ray Dalio talks about in his books I think that is

28:17

so important because people can deal with pretty muchanything other than the unknown If you don't communicate that's

28:24

when problems start to happen Even if you're communicatingsomething tough

28:30

people can usually deal with it But if you're notcommunicating anything the unknown then things start to spin out of

28:36

control Jay I'm I'm 100% with you on the transparency Um butI've had people come

28:42

to me and say "Damon don't you think you shared alittle a little too much whether it's around numbers or or

28:47

whatnot you know where do you draw the line when it comes totransparency with your organization?" Yeah I don't really

28:54

uh and I know that makes some people uncomfortable Nowhere's what I would say I don't come in and one of the rules

29:00

we also have is when you do a meeting right i I believe inthe AEIO and this

29:06

will answer your question So I stands for issues I'm okaywith people having

29:13

issues but you need to have a solution behind it So forinstance if I don't know let's just say I woke up today and

29:19

it was a bad day I'm not going to go complain to my companytell you how horrible my day is because what is that

29:26

serving what is that doing now if I have a solution behindit like oh I stubbed

29:32

my toe and my solution was to move the dresser so I don't dothat Whatever the you know it's a bad example but that's

29:39

that's where I draw the line is are you just complaining isthis serving any purpose at all cuz if it's not then

29:46

that's just sharing too much But when it comes to sharingpersonal matters I I do

29:52

I've talked about you know the death of my dad and and whatthat looked like I'm very I'm very open with these things For

29:59

some people that's too much But for me that's allowing youknow letting people

30:05

in And what I learned in my professional life when you'revulnerable that really

30:10

lets people buy in to who you are where you're going and Iwasn't that way for a

30:16

long time So I'm pretty open with everything Unless it'sjust complaining

30:22

There's there's no reason to do that Yeah I I haven't mettoo many great leaders who are victims you know or or

30:29

or blaming others all the time And I believe in chapter onein your book you talk a lot about vulnerability and

30:36

authenticity How do you go about it being vulnerable andauthentic but not

30:41

coming across as weak what's interesting about vulnerabilityis I would have said early in my career that's weakness right

30:48

you put on the face And I was taught boys don't cry which bythe way is absolutely terrible ridiculous advice

30:55

And what I learned is that's really not a you know I'm notsaying go cry every

31:00

single day or you know show but that's a very basic humanemotion And so the

31:06

moment that I let people in that's when people reallystarted to to believe in

31:12

who I was as a leader But when you put up this facade likeeverything's perfect and we're just gonna you know like you

31:20

have to look a certain way act a certain way it's just notrelatable first off and it's not very effective So when I

31:27

finally said you know what I'm willing to share who I amwholly with these

31:33

people because there's good there's bad and there's uglyabout everybody in the world Nobody has a perfect life So why

31:40

do we even pretend for it to be that way and just be okayand owning those warts

31:47

if you will because that's that's a part of who you are Themoment I did that and this literally again happened at the end

31:53

of the second company everything took off Leadership becameeasier numbers

31:58

became easier just it it wasn't such hard work because I wasable to just be

32:04

my authentic self put my energy into that instead of tryingto look or sound

32:10

or be something that I really wasn't We work with a lot ofuh firsttime managers

32:15

new leaders right so they either get promoted from being anindividual contributor to a first-time manager or

32:20

come in out from organization and a lot of them either arestressed or afraid to

32:26

be their authentic self because they don't want to comeacross as not having all the answers What practical advice do

32:32

you give for somebody stepping into a firsttime leadershiprole because guys like you and maybe guys like me like

32:38

where we've had some success it's great Yeah sure We can bevulnerable you know be our authentic self but how do we help

32:43

those leaders those first-time leaders become morevulnerable and authentic yeah it's a great question There's a

32:50

quote that has served me when it comes to this questionPeople don't care how much you know until they know how much

32:56

you care And that has shown up for me time and time againwith leaders if you

33:03

had all the right answers but you genuinely don't care aboutthe person that you're providing them to it doesn't

33:10

matter And so it's also you know nobody knows all theanswers Like like we said

33:16

that's that's impractical So what I would tell these peopleis just to try

33:21

your best to be interested in your people Truly give a careabout them not

33:27

just their numbers and how they perform but actually pourinto them and watch

33:33

how how well that's received and watch how much more they'regoing to uh believe in you as a leader So it it is

33:41

one of those funny things Damon because it is kind of anevolution that most people don't step into leadership and go

33:47

"Here I am I'm just going to be as open and honest as Ican be." Because that's kind of a scary idea But I think the

33:55

more that you can just say you know what I'm going togenuinely care about the people I'm working with I'm going to

34:00

share who I am just like I would in any relationship I'mgoing to build some real relationships that people can

34:07

follow That's when your leadership will take off and it justbecomes so much easier Yeah And especially in in the

34:14

world we live in today a lot of people call it like a apostrust world you know if you can get people to trust you like

34:21

you said if you want people to trust you they got to be ableto trust you first right so uh it things work out so much

34:27

better Now what about somebody who's a new manager who maybehas these limiting

34:33

beliefs like "Hey I know I got promoted but deep downJM they're thinking to themselves do I even belong here i don't

34:38

even know if I'm capable of doing this." How do you howdo you help that individual yeah So the first thing I if

34:44

I was talking to this individual stop thinking aboutyourself Everything that Damon just explained if you look at the

34:50

way it's being framed you're thinking about I I I And as aleader it's not

34:56

about you One thing that you'll learn my philosophy inleadership is it's not about me So if I'm saying all these I

35:03

statements like uh imposttor syndrome I shouldn't be thisleader Well if you

35:08

look at you're saying I first It's very ego focused So thefirst thing I would

35:13

ask you to do is just stop focusing on you and startfocusing on the team And once you do that then you stop being

35:21

inside your head You stop thinking about your ego and youstart focusing on the team It's amazing how it it just all of

35:29

a sudden people start to respond The other thing that Iwould say and this is something that uh it was written about

35:35

years ago in how to win friends and influence people Inorder to be interesting you have to be interested

35:43

And what that means to me as a leader is truly be interestedin the people that

35:48

you're working with Not again their position not just arethey hitting their metrics Who are they as people do they

35:55

have family what are their passions what are they looking toaccomplish if you do that it's amazing how now they look at

36:03

you as someone of leadership that they respect and theytrust And as Damon said that's going to help build that that

36:09

trust immediately And I think one of the key traits uh forgreat leaders is

36:16

curiosity And you know and and you were just talking aboutit right there right so you know be curious ask questions you

36:23

know get to know your employees a little bit right i meanbecause I know you talk a lot about how you've helped companies

36:28

double their revenue but a lot of that maybe could talkabout this a little bit A lot of that that is through being a

36:34

people first organization and taking care of your people Itis interesting because you know I I say often I sell

36:40

people what they want then I give them what they need Andwhen it comes to these organizations we'll start with

36:48

okay the we're going to double their revenue Cool But how wedo that is 100% like you just said we're going to do it

36:55

on focusing on you holistically So for instance if you're aleader and your

37:01

relationships are a mess your health is a disaster Howeffective can you be as a leader long term not not very And so the

37:09

majority of my work actually with a lot of executives isspent on how is your

37:14

relationships at home how is your health are you taking careof your body because if you can't show up with the most

37:22

amount of energy you if you can't show up in a way that youryour mindset's in

37:27

a positive place you're not going to be a very effectiveleader At least long term you won't So it is interesting

37:33

Damon how it's it's always like numbers and people want tolet's crunch these Cool We're going to do that but we're

37:39

going to succeed probably different than you thought becausewe're going to start with what does your daily routine look

37:45

like do you take care of yourself first so you can show upas the best leader And those are most of the the

37:52

conversations and systems that I put into place I knowyou've got a great daily routine Can you share a little bit

37:57

about your morning routine yeah you know it's it is funnybecause I I mine's

38:02

extensive So I'll give you the short version I call I Iactually created something called the perfect morning

38:09

routine and it's 33 total minutes The first 11 minutes isjust breath work And

38:14

that is uh if you're not familiar Wimhof would be probablythe easiest guy to follow Um but there's all sorts of

38:20

different breath work out there now And it's just 11 minutesof concentrated breath work to to really fill the body

38:26

Okay cool Then I do 11 minutes of meditation Some peoplelike guided some people like music some people like you

38:33

know sasio frequencies It doesn't really matter Just 11minutes of you time just

38:39

just kind of letting your mind go and then 11 minutes ofyoga And I do a

38:45

minute and a half for each chakra There's seven totalchakras and that ends up being 11 total minutes And when

38:52

I do that Damon it's amazing Immediately after those 33minutes I can tackle any

38:58

problem I can deal with pretty much anything that's going onBut if I don't get that in man I got to tell you I'm

39:04

not at the my highest level And so that's something that Iteach people to

39:10

take care of your mind your body and your soul every singlemorning And that's how what how I created the the

39:16

perfect morning routine And what advice do you have forpeople who start and stop right because I mean

39:23

it's only going to work if you get consistent with it So howdo you how do you find yourself being more consistent

39:28

with it yeah and this is the trick You're absolutely rightSo people all the time they're like "How did you become a lifecoach?" And I'll I'll go

39:34

"That's a good question." Um if you said lifestylecoach then I'm in because

39:40

that's ultimately what I want to create is lifestyle So howdo you how do you get

39:46

away from starting stopping know that for the first 90 daysit's going to be a

39:51

lot of effort and literally it's something that you're goingto need to be intentional with So like the power of

39:56

habit or is a great book to read or uh atomic habits seemsto be most people's

40:02

favorite uh habit read But what they'll tell you is start totake on the identity Set yourself up for success the

40:10

night before And ultimately for me write down whatever thatgoal is and put it in

40:15

your bathroom mirror so you see it every single day at leasttwice a day when you're brushing your teeth When you do

40:21

that you're far more likely not to stop than if you justsaid "I want to lose 20

40:28

pounds." Okay the likelihood of you losing 20 pounds isnot very good unless you write that down and you look at it

40:35

every single day Um because life's going to happen rightyou're going to have your your girlfriend to break up with

40:42

you and and you're going to have the the child that getssick and something in the world is going to happen Adversity

40:47

is going to strike and that's when we fall back into our oldhabits And so being intentional about it writing it

40:54

down and looking at it that's going to help you every day togo "Oh yeah I'm working out every single day." And after

41:02

90 days the reason I say 90 days is because then it justbecomes part of your routine now It's just habitual Like

41:08

that morning routine I don't even have to think about itbecause it's just part of what I do But in the first 90 days I

41:15

had to be extremely intentional I had to look at what eachyoga pose was Well now I can do it without even thinking about

41:21

it because it's just part of who I am One of the things yousaid in there was setting yourself up for success And

41:27

where do you think about luck you know as we kind of wrap uphere you know do you think people are lucky or do you

41:32

think people high achievers create their own luck yes greatquestion I I'm so

41:37

glad you asked this They've done so many different studiesUh they've done it on newspapers They But my favorite one that

41:44

I remember is they were in London and they put a 20 lb noteor 20 pound $20

41:50

bill for Americans on the sidewalk And before people walkeddown the sidewalk

41:55

they asked "Do you feel you're lucky?" Now of thisparticular study 10 people

42:01

said six of them said they were lucky All six found the thethe the note the

42:07

the dollar bill The four people that said they weren't luckyall of them walked right past it And so I don't

42:14

believe I I don't believe that people are genuinely lucky Ithink that they

42:20

create that own luck by being grateful by recognizing theamazing opportunities

42:26

that are out there If you are focused on negativity you'regoing to continue to

42:31

find negativity negativity If you're focused on positivitythen you're going to you're going to really bring that

42:37

positive positivity to you So it is one of those thingswhere are people lucky

42:43

yeah But they ultimately created it They are aware They'relooking for those

42:49

opportunities versus somebody that's like nothing good evercomes to me Oh there's another problem Well guess what

42:56

you're actually It's a self-fulfilling prophecy So such agood question Damon I absolutely love that Yeah I I I've

43:02

through the years you know I've run sales teams for I don'tknow a very long time And you see the underperformers a

43:09

lot of times saying "Oh that person got lucky That leadcame in or that person called back." No You know what they did

43:14

they showed up They put in the effort They they you knowstruck out They got back up and uh they created their own

43:21

luck And I can't think about it exactly but I love DaveThomas from Wendy's had a great quote about there's no such

43:27

thing as luck You create your own luck So true It it is justfascinating

43:32

because important too It's so important and I get it Whenyou're down things

43:37

it's hard to focus on it but what you focus on expands Soit's it's literally one of the best questions I I love that

43:44

So you and I as we wrap up here you and I you know you loveyour your family your wife your kids and and I love my

43:51

wife my kids And what do you want your legacy to be let'ssay for your kids uh

43:58

in in regard to let's just say how you were looked at as a aa father and a

44:04

leader I want my kids to to look back and and to say thatdad gave it

44:10

everything to these kids that he not and I don't meanmaterialistically I mean time He was present He he told them how

44:17

much I love them and that when I was with them I wasgenuinely with them That

44:23

wasn't always the case by the way When they were younger Icertainly was doing the emails on my phone I was around them

44:29

all the time but I wasn't really there And I would say forthe last at least 15

44:35

years I think I stopped when TJ was about three And I saidenough this time's going by so fast I want to make

44:43

sure that they know when I'm with them I'm fully with themand that they feel

44:48

that I I loved them no matter what was going on To me thatis legacy And and

44:53

I'm very proud of my boys man I I it's Yeah they they arekind of my everything

44:58

My wife and I are very blessed with these amazing humanbeings that that we are part of creating And uh just for

45:05

them to look back and say "Mom and dad loved us andthey were completely present." That would be that would be

45:11

the the legacy I'd like to leave That's wonderful Uh whatelse would you like to leave our listeners with i know we

45:18

talked about a bunch of great stuff but is there onespecific thing you know I

45:23

we touched on it What I w hope everybody does is start totake care of yourself

45:29

And the ladies if you're listening especially I every notevery 99% of the

45:36

female clients I work with when I ask this question what didyou do for you they always answer the the house the kid

45:42

the dog the email the car I mean it's such a litany ofthings before them

45:49

Start to take care of you first so that you can be the bestmom you can be the best dad you can be the best person that

45:56

you want to be you need to take care of yourself So thatwould be the last thing

46:01

brother that I hope people give themselves the opportunitygives themselves the grace to say you know

46:07

what I matter I'm going to take care of myself every singleday and I'm

46:14

absolutely worthy of that because now it's going to help youflourish in your career in your relationships and your

46:19

health and you are so deserving of it Thanks Jan It's beenawesome We had a we

46:25

talked about how to overcome uh limiting beliefs Uh whatwinning looks like you

46:32

know overcoming failure getting back up and taking care ofyour people the

46:37

importance of core values and and getting everybody on thesame page for the same mission and uh self leadership

46:44

and you know taking care of yourself So thank you so much myfriend Where can our listeners connect with you at yeah

46:50

brother thank you for having me You're an awesome host Heyyou ask great questions Um yeah let's go.com would be

46:57

the best place to find me I would also say go check out theLet's Go Win podcast Damon's going to be on and it

47:03

just an incredible guest So absolutely connect I loveconnecting

47:09

with people I love doing any bit my part to inspire peoplelive their best life

47:15

So let's go.com I'd love to connect with you All right Wellthank you And for our listeners out there do me a favor If you

47:22

know somebody who struggles from limiting beliefs or needsto maybe change up their daily routine please

47:28

send them this episode I mean jam so inspiring And so let'scheck it out And

47:34

until next time everybody stay curious keep learning have agreat day It's just not possible to get the best out of your

47:41

people if you're not being customized to them and havingthose deliberate conversations And and this is where I'm

47:47

very big on

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